17.8.09

Desire of Pulsation 脈動的欲望



我把手放在胸口上,感受著心臟一次又一次的跳動。若我不停止呼吸,心臟就會繼續跳,直至動不了的一天。在身體成形的一刻,早在意識出現之前,我的心臟已決意與我相依、共存。那一瞬間,我被自己的心臟感動了。
有沒有人會因著成全心臟跳動的欲望,而叫自己活下去?若心跳是放在眼前時刻可見的,我們會更在意活著的每一刻嗎?
草稿上,女人戴著白耳環,現在成了一個無味的3。初時想起白先勇的玉卿嫂,一個打扮入時但活得不容易的女人。堅強的女子現在已不稀有了,有3號也有5、6、7號。

I put my hand on the chest, to feel my heart beat. If I did not stop breathing, my heartbeat will continue until the day it cannot move. When my body was once formed, my heart decided to live with me. If the heart is just like a friend of mine, will I have more strength to live because I know the desire of my heart?
If we can see our beating heart, will we treasure every moment of our life?
In the draft of this painting, the woman was wearing a white earring. Now it became "3" with tasteless font. She made me think of a female character of Bai Xian Yong's novel, Madam Yu Ching (Jade Love), a beautiful woman who had tough life. However, tough woman is no longer rare. There are No.5, 6 or 7, anywhere.